You don't have to fit in!
As a child I was told that its ok to make our own way in life, not work for anyone else and follow your heart and passion and to never listen to anyone's expectations and just go with the follow of life and that I can be whatever I wanted, and that I didn't have be to be around fake or unkind people, that I didn't have to do things I didn't want to do!........well actually no I wasn't, infact I was told the complete opposite.........
Study, cant go to uni, Get a job, work hard, stay in that job, conform to rules, have one holiday a year, have a nice home, keep it clean and be nice to everyone, don't forget your manners, don't boast, don't think bigger than you are, and certainly by the age of 13 I was told that I couldn't be a scientist, have children, get married, obey your parents, be a friend to everyone, take shit from people, listen to other peoples crap and just accept it, rich people are horrible, money wont make you happy! life is hard, your not lucky like some, not forgetting that am I'm AVERAGE.....
Now think about that just for a few minutes, is that the type of talk you would give your 4 year old? is that the type of talk you heard growing up as a kid or even worse and I know for some seen and experienced even worse than this!
Is it a surprise that there are so many adults of my age 38 years young that have absolute zero confidence in themselves and their actual ability to succeed in their own personal lives and actually think its just reserved for the lucky or rich folk?
As a psychic and success coach over the last 4 years the amount of conversations I have had with people about really deep personal stuff, and without doubt it all comes back to what they were told or programmed into as a kid by their parents and peers.
We are a sponge soaking up knowledge and facts till the age of 8
Literally everything you have had said to you and your environment as a kid has created your blueprint of who you are and your core beliefs!
Did you ever wonder WHY you are the way you are, no confidence, or always give up on a project, or never even start?
Look back in your life, when was you told you wasn't good enough? when did someone say that your effort wasn't good enough? You will find that moment and it will uncover your first experience and of course if something hurts, do we do it again? No we avoid it!
So when you hear that little voice 'I'm no good' or 'I cant do it' challenge that thought..
where did I learn this?
why am I no good, is that true?
have I done this before? if not then how do I know?
So here you are as an adult and just plodding along in life and maybe even not, you maybe struggling just to live and get out of bed and be the successful human being everyone thinks you are or should be!
See here is the thing, are you living for you or others?
You find yourself in a career you hate but everyone thinks your brilliant for doing it!
Living in a home you cant afford but you dare not move down what will others think!
Your a size 8, constantly starving yourself and all you want is a burger and to eat more, but hey people will think you have let yourself go if your a size 10!!
You take out car finance and get your a beautiful car, its so awesome the neighbours and my friends will love it and it shows I'm successful right? actually you struggle with your payments and begrudge them monthly!
Your surrounded by lots if people, your so popular at the height of your success, but I wonder if they will stick around if things change? better to have a few real friends don't you think?
The above points are just what I have come across from the people I talk to that are the most unhappiest they simply live for others opinions and approval, not really living their life purpose, or following their own passion and as a result they become ill and depressed, I too have been here and done it!......and will never do that again!
There is MORE to life than this! read on for my top tips for living a liberated and passion led life.
So this is not about running away from life! this is about taking a new approach a fresh look and guess what you can do this starting right now.
- Review and assess your life - Look at all areas of your life and assess them now and rate each, this is called the LIFE WHEEL, you aim is to see a balanced completed circle, so if you was very happy with your career then you would draw on the top line for career number 8, family and friends if this was unhappy for you your line would drop down to number 2.....you may be surprised to see that you life is not balanced but now you can see clearly and can start to work on those areas. After 3 months re-do a life wheel and see how far you have come.
Small steps lead to big changes
So now you have identified the areas of your life that you need to change that's the biggest step to making changes.
Here are some practical tips to keep you on track whilst making changes....
Patience - Things will take time to change and that's ok! the fact that your making changes is great.
Seeing Results - You may want to lose three stone asap, but guess what you wont see it as soon as you want, you need to make the small changes everyday that will lead to small changes every week, that leads to a big change monthly then a huge change yearly, you see it really is the small things!!
Negative thoughts - As you make changes you will hear the little voice telling you nit to do it, or even a so-called friend telling you your fine as you are! don't listen to them or it, keep going in your new direction.
People and friends! or lack of, yes you may find that as you become more positive, more ambitious, more slimmer, more healthier, more successful that the 'old' friends or people who once was around you slowly disappear, this is because they are jealous of you and no longer can hold you back and also you may have less in common, for example you give up smoking, so the people you used to chat to outside the office are no longer part of your social crowd, don't worry it can be hard but seriously these people are not your tribe, if they were friends they would make an effort with you.
Approval - Oh dear! Stop it! you don't need to ask anyone if you're doing the right thing, if it feels good for you then that is good enough! did they ask you about their choices? No!
Listen to your intuition - We are born with it, and oh boy if I had listened to it more often I would have had less crap in my life! The same goes for you, if your gut says no, then listen! if you walk into a room of people and for some reason you feel wary about a person...listen. You are right!
Your parents were NOT right! - Yes that right, they did not get it ALL right and have left a few blueprints in your head and also experiences that maybe you should have not been through, so this is where you take back your POWER and claim back you, stop being under their power and live life for you, this is certainly what I experienced and many I have spoken too have been through the same too, yes they gave birth to you and brought you up, but hey if they are not good for you, edit them out of your life! it's not as hard as you think.
Gratitude - You have to start everyday for being grateful you are alive and here, even if you don't feel that way right now, remember you are changing it! A gratitude daily diary is awesome and a great way to get you feeling so much better.
Pass it on! Do yourself and your family the biggest favour and pass onto them a attitude of being grateful, a mind-set that they can really achieve anything they put their minds to, They don't have to live and be like everyone else, living their own way is just fine!
Your turn now!
Start to live life to the max, its your life no one else's. Make yourself Proud.
Love and Light